14 Jun , 18

How To Earn Respect

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To earn respect is to have awareness into the person you are, who you want to become and the actions you must take to follow your path.

Lately, it seems guys are cowering under social pressure and are finding it difficult to stand up for themselves in the face of negative attention driven by sensationalist media.

Every day I read comments written by men whose confidence is at an all-time low, or they are afraid to take a stand in the face of treatment that is despicable.  Some men no longer feel confident to take a risk and get uncomfortable.

It seems like it is almost a crime to be a man in the year 2018. To be fair, aside from the radical fundamentalist’s opinion everything wrong with the world is men’s fault, we as men, do bear some of the responsibility. We are not showing up the way we should be.

Which is why it has become so important to understand that we must both give and earn respect.  It’s a two-way street.

earn respectHowever, the pursuit of respect can also manifest itself in detrimental ways, it can lead to greed, hostility and pride. I have witnessed and been exposed to the power-thirsty who use respect as a means to inflate their ego at the cost of others, triggering a vicious cycle of demanding attention and forcing ideas and standards on others, even though more often than not the ideals are subjective rather than ethical. This type of person can be seen leveraging positional authority to demand respect rather than through a leadership style or personality that would earn respect.

Demanding respect is contrasted by the humble who see respect as recognition of their efforts. As men, the standards we place upon ourselves should be inspiring to those around us. The issue with respect then is not in being respected, but instead how you gain respect and how you command it.

We have all experienced a boss or colleague who, although giving logical direction, demand action based not on said logic but the satisfaction of their ego, forcing their will upon others because of their status. Excessive ego is not a trait belonging only to men but is instead a human quality and an undesirable one at that.

Those who desperately struggle to earn respect in a manner void of humanity and anchored in ego will forever struggle. If you are this type of individual, you likely understand your peers generally have no desire to interact with interpersonally because it would be forced.  These managers forcefully demand the respect of their peers. Personally, I’m unable to engage with this type of individual on an interpersonal level as the motivating factor behind my willingness to work for them is a result of force rather than respect.

To earn respect in a way that will inspire and elicit a positive reaction from those around you, there are some basic tenets you can employ.

How To Earn Respect

  1. Lead A Life With Compassion – This is probably the most essential human quality a man can possess. It is defined as “sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it” {The Merriam-Webster Dictionary}. Whether you are in a position of leadership or simply seeking to develop deep relationships, having compassion is what will enable you to earn the respect of those around you. You will understand it is vitally important always to put people first. Never forget that behind every situation or challenge you face when interacting with others, there is a human element.
  2. To Be Interesting Be Interested – If you’re genuinely interested in other people, you truly listen, to what they have to say. When people realize that they’re being heard, they’ll tell you what’s important (to them) about their jobs, their dreams, their fears, their goals. That knowledge not only gives you perspective on how to do your job better but also helps you see how you can best help others.
  3. Be Authentic – The moment you lack authenticity it manifests in both your speech patterns and body language. People will not respect you when they know you’re pretending to be somebody or something you’re not. Human beings have a natural ability to detect bullshit. When you are fake, you are seen as untrustworthy, insecure, and ultimately insignificant. On the other hand, humans are naturally drawn to individuals who indeed are what they seem to be. Being yourself (and at your best) is, therefore, the foundation for earning respect
  4. Clearly Establish Your Boundaries – Nobody respects someone who is a pushover, so earning respect also means setting clearly defined limits. These limits must be set both in the work you do and the relationships you maintain. There is no requirement to live by giving giving giving to those who will only ever take. At work, If you’re given an impossible task, explain up front what can be accomplished and commit to achieving that and no more. If someone becomes dependent upon your constant help and reassurance, wean them away by defining exactly how much you’re capable of giving. Guard your time carefully The stronger your boundaries, the more respect you’ll earn.

Earning respect is synonymous with developing your leadership skills and your strength of character. When you learn this skill by applying these tactics, you will be happy by how vastly your life improves. Your contributions to those around you become more meaningful and rewarding. Do the work each day for a lifetime of rewards.


Todd Lamb is one world's most trusted sources of Health and Fitness information and programming. He has dedicated his life to the service of others having served as a member of the Royal Canadian Regiment in the Special Service Force and as 17 year veteran Police Officer with 10 years on SWAT and 4 as a Team Leader. Todd is dedicated to transforming the lives of 1,000,000 men through honest science based information backed up with years of practical experience in Tactical Operations. Todd is a Best Selling Author of multiple best selling fitness programs and the book STAND APART

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2 thoughts on “How To Earn Respect

  1. Isra Montag

    Absolutely Agree with this article. Sometimes we forget to earn respect before demanding it. This is an excellent reminder. Thanks Todd.


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